Ok....so I don't know what is going on with all the idiots in this world, but the idiot quota of the North TX area is about to reach it's limit.
What am I ranting about? People who pull out in front of you when you are clocking about 40 to 45 MPH and they don't even bother to speed up. This usually leads me in slamming my brakes, and depending on the company in the car of the 2 year old version on whether I use lots of profanity plus the every ready finger...or the more desirable...CRAZY PEOPLE (aka get the F out of MY you crazy A$$ mofo before I become your new front seat passenger due to me going through your trunk, backseat, etc)! Amazingly it is not the typical truck or SUV...it is the small ass piddly cars that we ALL know is running on old horses riding their way to the glue factory.
I know I have a Camry...like who doesn't at this point, but believe me...don't let the nice little family car fool you...it can do some damage. Just ask the Cadillac that rear ended me on the 4th of July holiday weekend.
I guess these peeps in these small cars either underestimate how fast I am going(let me assure you...it is hardly over the speed limit with lil man in the car) or overestimate how fast their POS is going to go. Probably both sine as I said the idiot quota must be met.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Nutty Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree
Well...I have dedicated the last few posts to my in laws...but maybe I should turn that critical eye to my DNA pool that I call family. The are a wide assortment of normal to insane...if you could a Baptist Minister to normal and a convicted felon as insane, but at times those are one in the same, aren't they?
I have rednecks on one side and what I use to consider life haters on the other...but let's be fair, it is really more trailer trash. Didn't use to be that way, but I guess we all give up on life and all that it has to offer at some point and you become the 'cat lady' on your block.
The sad part is that the matriarchs, and I use that term loosely for one side, are coming to the end of their lives. I had the true Teen Mom parents when I was born and spent a lot of my time with both of them. I learned a lot from them my early years. Cooking and laughter from one and how to be able to be so self centered and cold from the other. Both lessons I have learned well and become adept at doing.
I wish I was a smarter person. Since I really do think that the parenting skills or lack thereof is passed from generation to generation and for those negative traits find a cure. However, I am working hard to break that cycle, but that coldness does creep out in me when I am dealing with people. Mostly adults that act like children and honestly...who has the time to put up with that crap?
I will honor these important women in my life when their time comes to an end on this Earth. I will honor them with my own thoughts by writing down my memories that probably no one else will see, but it will be there for me and that is all that matters.
These two important and different women have helped shaped me and how I view the world and their lessons I never will forget. They are my reality in this world when I get to where I can not see clearly, and I will look for their guidance even after they are gone. However, I will know have to assume that position for those that come after me and hope that I leave as an lasting impression in my grandchildren as they have left on me. I just hope it in the normal range...
I have rednecks on one side and what I use to consider life haters on the other...but let's be fair, it is really more trailer trash. Didn't use to be that way, but I guess we all give up on life and all that it has to offer at some point and you become the 'cat lady' on your block.
The sad part is that the matriarchs, and I use that term loosely for one side, are coming to the end of their lives. I had the true Teen Mom parents when I was born and spent a lot of my time with both of them. I learned a lot from them my early years. Cooking and laughter from one and how to be able to be so self centered and cold from the other. Both lessons I have learned well and become adept at doing.
I wish I was a smarter person. Since I really do think that the parenting skills or lack thereof is passed from generation to generation and for those negative traits find a cure. However, I am working hard to break that cycle, but that coldness does creep out in me when I am dealing with people. Mostly adults that act like children and honestly...who has the time to put up with that crap?
I will honor these important women in my life when their time comes to an end on this Earth. I will honor them with my own thoughts by writing down my memories that probably no one else will see, but it will be there for me and that is all that matters.
These two important and different women have helped shaped me and how I view the world and their lessons I never will forget. They are my reality in this world when I get to where I can not see clearly, and I will look for their guidance even after they are gone. However, I will know have to assume that position for those that come after me and hope that I leave as an lasting impression in my grandchildren as they have left on me. I just hope it in the normal range...
Monday, August 16, 2010
An ode to in laws
I was thinking just the other day
That when you come I just want to run away
Don’t want to worry about breakfast, lunch, or super
Just want to kick back and drink until I am in a stupor
Please no toys from the side of the road
I would rather that he plays with a toad
Please no pork products today
Let have some good on meat and potatoes…my fav
Don’t talk about watching non HD t.v.
You talk through a whole DVD
No peace…No quiet…and you are not a riot
I think I will just go on a wine diet
That when you come I just want to run away
Don’t want to worry about breakfast, lunch, or super
Just want to kick back and drink until I am in a stupor
Please no toys from the side of the road
I would rather that he plays with a toad
Please no pork products today
Let have some good on meat and potatoes…my fav
Don’t talk about watching non HD t.v.
You talk through a whole DVD
No peace…No quiet…and you are not a riot
I think I will just go on a wine diet
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Gee Thanks......
So...my DH gets a phone call from the MIL. She was just calling to complain that she had to start cooking again today. Isn't that nice....thanks for calling during my dinner time...bye..bye.
What is wrong with that..... the gentle reader is asking.....? Well....here it goes.
I come into town to visit my very ill and dying Grandmother. Not to be outdone the other Grandmother has called the family..."to settle up her accounts"...know...who said I don't come from classy dames? Anyway, walk into the In Laws place and what do I find waiting for us? The MIL in a cast....sigh.....of course this is after 2 weeks of pain and the martyr didn't want to spend the money on an x-ray. Yes, she does have 3 different health insurance carriers from the years the FIL worked for the Government. Anyway...it was to be a surprise! Hate to bust that little bubble, but the swollen blue foot and toes she has been talking about for 2 weeks....it really wasn't a surprise other than taking her cheap arse down to get an x-ray.
So guess who had the pleasure of cooking all weekend! I know...really hard to guess..but me! I will say this...I did not have to worry about dried chicken. These poor defenseless egg layers, that are past their prime, have graciously donated their bodies for the overcooked and dried out pieces of meat that could be used for wallpaper paste.
I made a lot of food, so they would have leftovers and would not starve or blow away in the dry wind of August in their little piece of heaven.
So we get the update that the food is gone.....and the chickens are running scared. I would be too...it is like me getting murdered by cannibals just to be overcooked! Then to have the man of the house slathering me in whatever sauce that may be handy to be able to eat without having the 911 operator to assist in getting a piece of my breast down his gullet. Isn't that a nice visual.
What is wrong with that..... the gentle reader is asking.....? Well....here it goes.
I come into town to visit my very ill and dying Grandmother. Not to be outdone the other Grandmother has called the family..."to settle up her accounts"...know...who said I don't come from classy dames? Anyway, walk into the In Laws place and what do I find waiting for us? The MIL in a cast....sigh.....of course this is after 2 weeks of pain and the martyr didn't want to spend the money on an x-ray. Yes, she does have 3 different health insurance carriers from the years the FIL worked for the Government. Anyway...it was to be a surprise! Hate to bust that little bubble, but the swollen blue foot and toes she has been talking about for 2 weeks....it really wasn't a surprise other than taking her cheap arse down to get an x-ray.
So guess who had the pleasure of cooking all weekend! I know...really hard to guess..but me! I will say this...I did not have to worry about dried chicken. These poor defenseless egg layers, that are past their prime, have graciously donated their bodies for the overcooked and dried out pieces of meat that could be used for wallpaper paste.
I made a lot of food, so they would have leftovers and would not starve or blow away in the dry wind of August in their little piece of heaven.
So we get the update that the food is gone.....and the chickens are running scared. I would be too...it is like me getting murdered by cannibals just to be overcooked! Then to have the man of the house slathering me in whatever sauce that may be handy to be able to eat without having the 911 operator to assist in getting a piece of my breast down his gullet. Isn't that a nice visual.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Squirrel in the Fridge
Now...I will start off by saying that I DID NOT witness what is the below, but it is just too good of a story to pass up.
My SIL was in visiting her folks. She opens the fridge door looking for some type of refreshement of the non-alcholic type (her first mistake IMHO) and there...laying in a plastic bag...is a dead squirrel. Now I am not a health inspector...but feel pretty certain that this would be a serious violation of the health code and therefore, shutting the nasty kitchen down for all of enternity.
However, it is my MIL's kitchen and unfortunately many dead things end up there....geckos, birds, and God knows what else has been lurking in there, other than the normal expired container of sour cream that we all have from time to time.
So as the ear piercing scream rang through the house on an explaintaion on why one of God's creatures was sitting in the fridge marinating in it's own juices and appearing to be that evenings dinner? There was a simple explaination. Pray tell brave soul....what could it be?
It is summer in this small West Texas town and with the heat of 115 degrees and the fact that the trash truck came that morning...it just wouldn't do to have it fermenting in the trash can trying to make some sort of schnapps out of it.(or would it...country squirrel schnapps coming to a bar near you.....hmmmmmm) Therefore, the most obivious of answers is to put it next to the cold cuts until the trash truck comes later in the week.
Well....let's ponder this for a bit. I hear a rumor that there are these neat things called dumpsters and you can find them at the local business or apartment complex. They hold quite of bit of trash and from time to time humans that are looking for shelter. My FIL does get out of the house at least 2 times a day for "coffee" aka..get me the heck out of here for awhile 'cause the wife never shuts up. So in one of the coffee runs the FIL could use one of these advances in modern technology to actually dispose of the squirrel or since I am such a simple country gal...get a shovel find a 5 year old to say a prayer for the dearly departed.
That is Life for me in These Times......
My SIL was in visiting her folks. She opens the fridge door looking for some type of refreshement of the non-alcholic type (her first mistake IMHO) and there...laying in a plastic bag...is a dead squirrel. Now I am not a health inspector...but feel pretty certain that this would be a serious violation of the health code and therefore, shutting the nasty kitchen down for all of enternity.
However, it is my MIL's kitchen and unfortunately many dead things end up there....geckos, birds, and God knows what else has been lurking in there, other than the normal expired container of sour cream that we all have from time to time.
So as the ear piercing scream rang through the house on an explaintaion on why one of God's creatures was sitting in the fridge marinating in it's own juices and appearing to be that evenings dinner? There was a simple explaination. Pray tell brave soul....what could it be?
It is summer in this small West Texas town and with the heat of 115 degrees and the fact that the trash truck came that morning...it just wouldn't do to have it fermenting in the trash can trying to make some sort of schnapps out of it.(or would it...country squirrel schnapps coming to a bar near you.....hmmmmmm) Therefore, the most obivious of answers is to put it next to the cold cuts until the trash truck comes later in the week.
Well....let's ponder this for a bit. I hear a rumor that there are these neat things called dumpsters and you can find them at the local business or apartment complex. They hold quite of bit of trash and from time to time humans that are looking for shelter. My FIL does get out of the house at least 2 times a day for "coffee" aka..get me the heck out of here for awhile 'cause the wife never shuts up. So in one of the coffee runs the FIL could use one of these advances in modern technology to actually dispose of the squirrel or since I am such a simple country gal...get a shovel find a 5 year old to say a prayer for the dearly departed.
That is Life for me in These Times......
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